The Rockets Will Win The NBA Championship With This New $1 Beer Strategy

I’m convinced this is just about the smartest move a professional sports team has made since the Cleveland Indians hosted 10 Cent Beer Night back in 1974. It may have started a riot, but it was one hell of a night at Cleveland Municipal Stadium.

Sure, some promotions are cool. It’s a guarantee that people will come down to the stadium to get stuff like a Tracy McGrady jump shot bobblehead, but are you gonna try to tell me a Tracy McGrady Bobblehead gives you a home-field advantage like cheap alcohol does? Fuck no. It’s impossible to stress just how genius of an idea this is- it’s up there with things like the Wheel, the Playstation 2 circa early 2000’s, and the McGangBang.

The Toyota Center will be packed with fans well over 90 minutes before tip-off while they get tuned in. The crowd will be into the game as if it’s the Roman Coliseum and a convicted murderer is preparing to face-off against a lion in a winner-take-all death match, and that’s why alcohol is the best. It will make you happy to do or watch anything. I’m confident I would be smiling like the Rangers had just won the Stanley Cup in my new passport photo if you gave me a $1 beer hour before a trip to the DMV. Hell, there better be a $1 beer hour before my own funeral.

I can’t wait for the Rockets to replicate their Clutch City Championship days all thanks to $1 beers.